Recently I have come to think about much I’ve grown. I used to be the kind of person who would easily be shaken by trials. I always needed reassurance that everything would turn out ok. My faith was weak. Things are so different now.

            One thing that has remained the same is my love for worship music. My mom always has music on in the house and a lot of the time, its worship music. Even as kids, my siblings and I were made to sing at churches with my parents. I can honestly say that, at the time, I really didn’t like to sing in front of others because of my stage fright. However, something my mom would always say was that one day we would understand the importance of what we were doing. It took me a long time to understand.

            What I came to realize was that not only were we a blessing to those who heard us, but in me was instilled the want to seek God. Thing is, I didn’t realize that I was searching for God at the time. I have always felt moved by worship music. It was like everything inside me was crying out every time I would sing. However, I attributed that to just being emotional over the song itself. It was actually my spirit being stirred. Even so, God kept me close to Him with His music. There were several times in my life that I drew near to Him because of worship music.  

            I remember once in college; I went to church with my roommate Claire. At the time I felt so insignificant and unworthy of any kind of love. So, when the worship team played the song “How He Loves” by John Mark McMillan, I felt the love I so desperately sought for. Another time my spirit was stirred was when I went to a Leadership Convention with my youth group. I had lost my voice, so I myself could not sing. However, hearing the hundreds of people in that concert hall praising God was breathtaking. I could feel God’s presence.

“For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” – Matthew 18:20

            While I was a leader in my church’s youth group, I got to see a glimpse of what God wanted for me. He wanted me to draw near to Him and allow Him to lead me. That became very clear one day when the youth band sang “Holy Spirit” by Francesca Battistelli. I could feel my heart pouring out when I sang the words, “Holy Spirit, you are welcome here”. I was welcoming His spirit into my heart.

“But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” – Acts 1:8

Another time where I sought God was when I was working in the insurance business. I was struggling with my confidence and didn’t know if there was a way to overcome it. Ironically enough, as I was driving, the song “Overcomer” by Mandisa started to play. It gave me hope that I would one day walk with my head held high.

“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” – Romans 15:13

            The most recent adversity I have had to go through was my father abandoning my family. Again, I sought God through music. I found Him in the songs “Oh My Soul” by Casting Crowns and “Even If” by MercyMe.  Both songs talk about how even in all the pain and all the hurt, God is there. He will provide us with the comfort we need to keep going. We need to keep our faith in Him, and He will strengthen us.

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” – Psalm 46:1

            Every time I was struggling, I felt a tugging at my heart. What I didn’t realize, for the longest times, was that that tugging was God calling me to Him. Instead of really seeking Him, I looked for temporary fixes. It wasn’t until one day that my eyes were opened to how much I needed God. I realized that even in the few times that I did open myself up to Him, He gave me the comfort and the strength to get through the hard times. The Holy Spirit was reminding me of what I knew to be true all those times.

“The Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything and make you remember all that I have told you.” – John 14:26

            Ever since my eyes were opened, I have seen the many things God has done for me, even though I didn’t deserve it. His love and grace have never failed me. It may have saved me a lot of heartaches to have accepted Christ earlier in my life…however, things happen for a reason. I have learned so much from everything I have gone through and have become a stronger person because of it.

            Therefore, I pray that you listen to that tugging you feel on your heart. God is calling you. He wants to have an intimate relationship with you. All you need to do is accept Jesus into your life. Everything you seek lives in Him. Once you accept Him in your life, you will see how things in your life change for the better.

“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. The LORD is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation for his anointed one.” – Psalm 28:7-8